The Words (Finally) Has Meaning
How exactly do you know that you’re a grown-up?
I don’t really know how to pinpoint it but right now, I’m having one of those moments. The “this is happening right now because you are mature” moment.
Today is about a phrase you’ve heard probably thousands of times.
They used to mean nothing to you. If you’re in some deep shit and you can’t see how you’re going to wiggle yourself out of this one, and people come by and in their own way, pat your shoulder and tell you “things are going to be OK”, your usual response would be a scoff and a “how would you know?” Because, really… How would they?
Of the many many revelations I’ve had for the past… Say, couple of months, this one hit a much deeper chord. Because I’ve been in both situations before, the advicer and the one given an advice to (advicee?) My form of support for you, my friends in need, generally would be to leave you alone.
I know from experience that if I say “oh things are going to be OK” it’s like giving you smoke; useless stuff. And I can’t really reach over and hug you real tight and let you stay there for as long as you want to, as long as you need. Because I get tired easy and since I have RLS I tend to fidget involuntarily when my legs are not fidgeting, so I don’t want to make you uncomfortable leaning onto me. And because I don’t have the courage to do so. Most people who broke down before my eyes are the ones I’m not close with, and I don’t want them to think of me “dude, what the hell?” If I hug them.
That leaves me with shoulder pats.
Or leaving you alone and praying for you. But, see, even the last one’s troublesome. Because I’d pray and what happened would be the opposite of that. It’s a long, dysfunctional, sometimes quirky relationship I have with God.
Don’t ask me to explain, because all I can give you is a shrug and an “I don’t know.”
So. I would leave you alone and say nothing. Maybe because I know that when you’re in such…occasion, you’d want privacy.
I’m babbling.
Anyways.
My point is that now that I’ve gone through some stuff, I believe that. I believe things will be OK in the end. I was watching CSI: Miami and that Caine guy (whose speaking tone I dislike) told this kid “things are going to be OK. I know it doesn’t seem that way right now, but it will.”
It has been in my head ever since I heard it.
I used to wave my hand and say “yeah. Right.”
Now I get it. Now I say “I know.” And in the end, when the shit is over and you look back on it, you’d smile. Because of the simple fact that it’s the truth.
