Random

It all started with a glance. A single, innocent flick of the eyes when I saw the front door opened.
I took a puff.

She dragged the black plastic bag and put it near the trash can. Then went inside.
I took another puff.

It looked neither big nor small. Medium. Could have easily fit.
I threw my now small cigarette to the cement and stepped on it. Went across.
Opened the can.
Put it in.
I went back to my porch and lit another one. My last one, which forced me to make a mental note to buy another pack after school tomorrow.
I took a puff.
The light was on, I saw.
I saw her figure looking out the window.

I took another puff.
         ***
 
Another day at school.
Another boring day.
Another set of notes. reports. papers. handouts.
English. Geography. Math. Health.
The only thing that got me through was the thought of buying that cigarette.

         ***

“Uh, can I get a pack of that one, please?”
He took it down and handed it to me. “$2.”
I gave him the money, thanked him, and walked out the door.

         ***

Nighttime.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“No.”
“What time is it?”
“11.”
“Then you should be in bed.”
“No.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m not sleepy.”
“Are you going to smoke again?”
“That’s the plan.”
“You know it’s not good, right?”
“You do it.”
“Yeah, but I’m already ruined. I don’t want y…”
“Too late.”
I walked out the door.
I took a puff.
And another puff.
…
And another.
…
And another puff.
…
I waited.
…
…
…
I heard the creak of the door hinges.
My eyes flickered.
She took it out. She put it right next to the can. She went inside.

I waited.
Then put off my cigarette.
Then walked over.
Put it inside.
Closed it.
Went back. Lit another one.
…
I took a puff.
…
…
And another
…
And she lit the lights again.
Peeked out.
Switched it off.

I took a puff.
…
…
Went inside.

         ***

Brief

I was ready to go. I’ve put on my best suit, along with my shiny, black Oxford shoes. My purple tie was a little loose, but then again, I don’t want it to be too tight.

 

She emerged from the bathroom, looking incredibly elegant in her strapless black gown, and gave me a quick smile; probably letting me know how impressed she was that I was able to dress within 5 minutes.

“Can you help me find my earrings?”

Huh… Probably not.

 

“Well, where did you put it the last time?” I replied with a question.

“Honey, if I know that, I wouldn’t be asking you.”

 

I rolled my eyes and began looking in the bedroom area, while I hear her opening and closing the bathroom drawer, rattling things she could find.

Bedside table. Not there.

Under the phone? I was not sure, but I checked it anyways.
Not there.

“You know we’re already kinda late, right?”

Under the bed. Not there.

“I know.”

“Then why can’t you put on some other earrings?”

My pants pocket. Not there.

“I don’t have any other earrings. You remember I lost the last two pairs, right? I haven’t bought any to replace them. I hate this,” she grumbled.

“Then let’s just go without earrings,” I shouted, “We’ll be fine.”

Wardrobe. Nope.
Closet. Nothing.

The sounds from the bathroom stopped; as I assumed she was considering my suggestion. “Nope, that can’t happen. Then I won’t look… Ladylike.”

“You’re already wearing a necklace.”

“Oh, I know, but I think-and Mom agrees with me-that the earrings would be a nice touch. You’d think that I know where I keep ‘em, oh, for God’s sake! I just cannot believe that I’m this clumsy!!”

Desk drawer.
And what I found, was not the earrings.

 

I found the locket and a silver ring she gave me once. I found the little picture of her with her red hair and her innocent smile inside the locket. I read the engraving on the ring like it was the first time I’d read it.

 

All those memories, all those things that I have so cleverly dodged and kept inside my heart, it was about to burst open. I was forced to remember it all again. The fight. The accident. The smell of the hospital. The chill of her cold, cold room. I remember her last words to me, the last conversation we had. I remember her funeral, her white closed casket, her burial ceremony.

 

“Oh! Here they are!!” the sound of her voice jolted me back to reality. And forced the tears away.
“What?”
“I found them!”

I loosened the necklace and the ring, half-dropping them back into the drawer and closed it. Tapped it twice out of habit.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I heard her steps coming toward the bedroom. ”Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I looked up and my eyes landed on her. With her pale, pale skin and her long brown hair. With the tiny diamond necklace around her neck, and the white gold earrings on her ears. With the strapless black gown that made her skin glow like an angel.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I huffed the air that has been lumping my throat for a while just by looking at her.

“Well, let’s go, then. We’re late.”