The first time I saw you, I didn’t have quite an impression. I was taken away, but only for that moment. After that, long gone you were from me.
Who would’ve thought that after all those years I got the chance to see you again. I strained to remember that moment when we first met, yet I can’t. I couldn’t believe how dumb I was to let you go from my mind ever so quickly.
When we went out the first time, I got the urge to tell you how I felt. Your reply to that was a smile, the sweetest I’ve ever seen, and you reached for my hand. That moment, I knew I was meant to be with you. Though I never say it out loud-for obvious reasons.
I do not know how I fell in love with you, or how I fell in love with you; but I did, and it happened even before I knew it. I love everything about you. The easy way you smile, your melodic laugh, your bright blue eyes. I fell in love with you.
I know that this sounds completely cheesy, but it’s true. You are everything I’ve ever wanted in someone. My soul mate. My dream. My rock. The one whose smile soothes me; whose tears shatters me; whose voice serenades every word. The one whose eyes see right through me and who always takes my breath away.
I’m sorry for driving you away at times. For not being a better husband. A better friend. A better lover. I’m sorry I made you cry. I swear to God, I’ve never felt so useless in my entire life. I promised that I would make you happy, and I thought I was. I thought that maybe if I pull myself away from you and maintain some distance, I wouldn’t hurt you, and that you’d be happy. That was stupid. I didn’t realize that until that time I found you crying in the bathroom with the showers on. You ripped me apart with those teary eyes and wet face, and I realized that I had hurt you by acting tough.
I’m not tough, Babe. I crumble crumble crumble into pieces without you mending me.
I am the luckiest man in the world to have you in my life, and at times I can’t believe it. You hold within yourself the power to urge me to keep on going. I look at you and I know that all is worth it. I look at you and I feel content and at peace, because I see someone who loves me for what I am, who sticks by my side when I give up on myself, who shares laughter and joy with me, who enjoys going around for no particular reason other than to have the time to ourselves, who cradles me when I cry out of frustration and confusedness. I look at you and I see someone who’s holding my heart.
I love you.
-M-
