Archive for July, 2007

When We Walk Together in Harmony

Posted in Uncategorized on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 by mace

Kapankah kita bersama?
karena sekarang waktu berjalan terlalu cepat
dan kita seperti menangkap angin
ketika kita berkata kita tak mau berpisah

Semua kenangan jadi berharga
dan walau ada yang menyakitkan
kalau kau punya kesempatan untuk kembali ke saat itu…

Teman, mungkin sekarang kita harus berpisah
tapi untukku
ketika kita berjalan bersama dalam harmoni kehidupan
menjelang tes, menjelang skripsi, menjelang kelulusan
meski dalam kehidupan nyata kita tak bertatap muka
ingatlah bahwa kita selalu bersama

To Us Young Adults

Posted in Uncategorized on Sunday, July 29, 2007 by mace

When you’re 17… or 18… or 19… it seems like the whole world is out to get you. And I don’t blame you for that. It’s normal.

Belive it or not, it is. When you’ve reached that level where you’re in constant arguments with your parents (in my case my mom), and you feel like everyone don’t understand you except your friends, and you feel like you need some distance from them, that’s the first sign of reaching that young adult phase.

Drawing from my own personal experiences, I’ve come to a conclusion that it is absolutely normal for you to have those moments. You need to have them, as a part of the whole ‘being a grown-up’ package.

This is what happened to me. I was in constant arguments with my mom (in a daily bases) and there are always things that we can argue about. TV remote. TV shows. Computers. Internet connection. My life. Her life. They just come and go as they please, and it usually ended up with me being annoyed with her and me feeling like I need to take a break and get away and be alone.

I have a pen pal (well… I dunno what you call it these days? Friend through E-mail?) from the Philippines and I told her about how I felt during the last couple of weeks. In her reply she told that she, too, had once experienced the same thing. That she felt like screaming to her parents to understand her, and stuff like that. Basically what we went through is about the same. We needed distance. She got it, meanwhile I think I can’t.

When I told my parents that I was going to rent an apartment and live by myself, their response was, "What? Your uni is not even far from here. If you go to ** then you can rent an apartment. AND I’ll give you a car."

I frowned and remain silent. Inside I felt like taking a whack at both of them (I know it sound horrible, but you have to be me to understand) and scream, "Get a grip and stop pushing me around, for God’s sake!"

For some reason they wouldn’t. I’d love to start over, start a fresh life with the uni thing going on, but I can’t do it if they won’t let me lead my own life.

Weeks later I thought, "Maybe it’s a teenager thing. You know? What we’d do when we reach that age. Justine was 18 when she left her family because of PY, right? Maybe she thought she knew what’s best, and look where they ended up."

I wouldn’t say things like, "Oh, it’s your hormones" or "oh it’s just a phase" or stuff like that. I don’t think everyone goes through this phase. Some people like me, yes, they will experience it. Some won’t. But if you do, and when you do, remember that you’re not the only one. And that it’s normal to have those moments.

Sruk… sruk… dan Kehidupan Menjelang Kuliah

Posted in Uncategorized on Sunday, July 15, 2007 by mace

Gatel…

Luka kena cipratan minyak waktu gue ke Puncak bersama anak-anak kelas ini nyebelin banget, deh! Lagi gatel2nya sekarang, en rasanya susah banget gak digaruk, huhuhu… T___T

3 hari 2 malem yang gue habiskan sama temen2 gue (anak2 3A1), gue gak nyangka bakalan jadi momen terindah dalam masa gue SMA. Banyak emang yang udah dilalui sama2, tapi mau ngomong benernya sebelom pergi gue rada males. Beberapa alesannya antara laen:

1. Ribet bawa2 barang (sumpe de, itu udah kayak mau mudik ke pedalaman! Beras lah dibawa, sambel, saos, kecap manis, panci, wajan, penggorengan, kipas sate,,, the list goes on and on… Khusus buat panci gue kelimpungan nyariin anak yang bisa bawa.  Ada yang bilang bisa bawa, n ternyata pagi2 pas gue kelar mandi; yaitu jam setengah 6 pagi; dia baru SMS n bilang tak isa bawa… ya sudah lah, walhasil panci yang dibawa cuman panci gue).

2. Harus ninggalin OS. berat rasanya ninggalin OS, tempat gue kongko2 n ngobrol2 tentang our role model in life. Selaen gue kangen dengan kegilaan a la cyber kita2, gue juga males baca2 forum yang udah pasti bejubel dengan message2 yang gue gak baca dalam jangka waktu 3 hari itu.

3. Ada slek sebelom pergi, di antara panitia n anak2nya. Hal terakhir yang gue mau adalah ninggalin kenangan buruk sebelom ninggalin SMA… n slek itu bikin rebet dah!

Semua itu ilang dalam waktu setengah jam sesudah gue nyampe di villa PaRud tercinta (ceile!). Setelah beres2 barang (tereak2 nanya, "Ver, plastik2 gue lo taro mana, sih?!"; mindahin tas dari 1 villa ke villa sebelahnya sampe ada kali 3x; meng-instruksikan ini dan itu, misalnya, "Itu tissue taro disana!" terus "Jangan, jangan! Jangan dibuka dulu!" ato "Sini deh plastiknya kasih gue!"), dengan santainya gue duduk di teras sambil angkat kaki, menikmati udara dingin yang kagak pernah ada di Jakarta. Men,,, itu the best abis! Lepaslah sudah semua beban derita yang ada di punggung n pundak. Akhirnya sampe. Akhirnya terlaksana.

Meskipun di sana sempet kelimpungan (sehari menjelang pergi, gue gak inget kalo harus bawa mangkok n piring buat nyajiin makanan. Akhirnya dipake-lah cetakan ager2 sepupu gue buat naro segala bakwan, ayam goreng, de el el) gara2 banyak banget barang yang lupa dibawa ato kurang; toh akhirnya semuanya lancar n beres. hari terkahir malahan gue gak mau pulang. Beberapa anak juga gak mau.

Hari pertama tergolong lancar, lah. Sempet sebel juga gara2 ada game basah2an (lo tau dong, aernya Puncak kayak gimana?), sedangkan gue  udah bersumpah tak mau berenang; tapi akhirnya gue nyebur n berenang juga. Tidurpun jadi kendala tersendiri. Gue ngambil jok lipet yang bantal kepalanya udak kayak lambang Teletubbies yang warna ungu (sapa tuh? Tinky Winky ye namanya?), n pas gue bangun pagi2 kepala gue langsung puyeng.

Dan hari kedua diawali dengan beratnya kepala gue. Pagi jam 6 gue udah bangun, terus ke luar kamar, pake jaket n lari bentar keliling komplek, sekalian nyari roti buat masakin anak2. Gue gak dapet roti. Yang ada gue kedinginan n kepala gue tambah pusing. Untung tukang bubur lewat. Anak2 pada makan bubur, n gue minum susu coklat dari kulkas. Tak sarapan. Abis ketawa2 bareng temen gue (gara2 kita sama2 gak mau mandi… dingin banget sih!), gue sempet ngumpul2 beberapa anak wanita n ngobrol sama PaRud. Kepala gue udah pengen dicopotin rasanya. "Wah, gak kuat dah! Tidur lagi, deh!" Gue pun menghilang & balik ke villa bawah. Masuk kamar, kasur lipet gue sudah di-occupied. Minta ijin sepupu buat make kasur n bantalnya, tidurlah gue. Gak lama 2 temen gue juga tidur. Bangun2 udah sekitar jam 1an kalo gak salah. Dibilangnya mau dibangunin pas masak, tapi kagak dibangunin (dia bilangnya dia udah bangunin gue. Lha wong pas bangunin suaranya bisik2 gitu mana gue denger, kan? Tak masuk kategori). N insiden itupun terjadilah.

Lagi ngeliat anak2 yang goreng bakwan, ada sisa2nya gitu n udah pada mau gosong. Gue ambil saringan (yang gue gak tau masih basah), n gue ciduk itu kotoran2nya. Plok!! Nyipratlah tu minyak. Temen gue ada yang kena jari kakinya, tapi karena yang nyiduk itu gue, tangan gue kena cipratan paling banyak. Tindakan PPPK-nya pake odol, deh… Biarpun sekarang udah kayak tangannya orang lepra, I’d like to think of the marks as a… souvenir, if you may.

Hari ketiga dilalui dengan jadwal yang ngaret2, ibadat yang berkesan, nangis2an yang bikin gue mau gak mau mengeluarkan aer mata (thank you, Cimie…), BBQ, jalan2 keliling komplek subuh2, nyalain kembang api (yang meledak2 bagus itu, lho) jam setengah 4 pagi, n tidur jam 4-nya. Jam 4 sore kita semua pulang ke Jakarta naek tronton.

Post ini bukan cuman menuliskan apa yang gue lakuin selama gue di Puncak. Post ini menyadarkan gue bahwa betapa beratnya gue harus ngelepasin satu persatu pribadi2 yang udah punya peran yang cukup signifikan dalam ngebentuk diri gue. 14 taon gue sekolah, gak pernah sekalipun gue ngebayangin 3 taon terakhir bakal gue abisin di sekolah gue yang ini. Kalo bukan gara2 sepupu gue sekolah disono, gue juga kaga bakalan mau daftar.

Adaptasi yang berat yang harus gue jalanin dulunya itu gak ada apa-apanya sama kenyataan bahwa sebagian dari kita-kita harus pisah n ngelanjutin studi buat kuliah. Dulu gue cuman ngeluh melulu. Belakangan gue baru sadar bahwa gue masuk di Marsud itu emang udah diatur. Can’t explain how, tapi itu gue percaya. Emang udah jalannya. Somehow dengan kemalesan gue belajar waktu di Sanur gue jadi orang yang kayak sekarang. Lebih dewasa. Lebih religius. Lebih terbuka. Gak nyangka banget deh gue bisa berubah segini banyaknya. A blessing in disguise? Bisa jadi. N gue prefer untuk nganggepnya begitu.

Di mobil pas pulang dari Puncak gue nangis hampir gak berenti. Sedihnya. Gak keruan deh perasaan gue. Mereka itu temen2 gue. Senasib sepenanggungan. Sependeritaan. Ujian Negara dipikirin sama2. Ujian sekolah, dicuekinnya juga sama2. Ujian praktek bikin ribet, tapi dilaluin sama2. Ketawa sama2. Nangis sama2. Sedih, sebel, kesel, semuanya sama2. In the end gue bukan cerita ke nyak gue soal masalah pribadi gue, tapi gue berpalingnya ke mereka, n cerita ke mereka. Saat itu juga gue dihadepin pada kenyataan bahwa gue harus misah dari temen2 gue, itu bukan hal yang gampang. Gue mikirnya, "Yah elah… gak ada lagi deh istirahat sama2 n makan nasi kremes… ato foto2 tanpa juntrungan… ato ledek2an nyegat orang kagak boleh pulang naek bus yang cuman lewat sejam sekali… ato ketawa2 gila karena hal bego yang dilakuin si ini ato si ono… Ilang sudah semuanya…"

Buat gue saat lo jadi temen orang adalah saat dia percaya sama lo buat nyeritain hal-hal yang terjadi sama dia. Simpel atopun rumit. Simpel misalnya, "Masa gue pernah digangguin sama yang jagain Busway, Ce?". Rumit itu kayak, "Gue sebel lo sama si ini ini itu, soalnya kan gini gini gini…" Jadi temen adalah jadi companion. Kalo baru tau nama itu bukan temen namanya. Itu sebates tau. Jadi temen itu bukan hal yang gampang. Buat gue itu suatu kehormatan.

Menjelang kuliah… Nyari temen baru, adaptasi lingkungan baru, dosen (bukan guru lagi namanya), skripsi, PKL, de el el, meskipun jadwalnya gak sepadet pas sekolah (libur tiap Kemis), tetep aja susah. Gue gak mikirin soal yang laen2. Yang gue pikirin cuman temen. Susah gak ya nyari lagi yang baru? Bisa tetep nyambung gak nih sama yang lama? *amin!*

Menjelang kuliah itu urusan nanti. I know you can’t just focus on the now and you have to prepare for the future, but I wanna enjoy the now. Kalo bisa tiap hari sebelom kuliah (OSPEK, yang totally useless) dimulai kita selalu jalan bareng tiap hari. Spend our time together. Talk. Laugh. Cry. Make jokes. Pray. Sing. Whatever works. College drags you into a whole new, different, world. And while you can enjoy high school… when you’re in high school… just enjoy it.

Why Men This and Women That: A Simple Approach

Posted in Uncategorized on Sunday, July 8, 2007 by mace

Wanita dan pria. 2 ini punya banyak kesamaan, tapi bedanya juga gak kalah banyak.

Setiap kali gue ke toko buku, pasti mata gue nemu buku yang depannya begini, "Why Men…" Nah, kalo udah liat yang kayak begitu, tau dong lanjutannya apa? Contoh: Why Men Lie and Women Cry. Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Don’t Red Maps. Dan masih banyak lagi (saking banyaknya gue sampe lupa).

Salah gak sih sebenernya kalo wanita itu nyari persamaan dalam perlakuan? Ya… gimana ya? Sekarang elo sebagai wanita mau gak cuman disuruh ngedekem di rumah, jaitin baju laki lo n ngelonin anak2 lao tanpa tau dunia luar tuh kayak gimana? Gak kan?

This issue has been going on for a long time, and yet people still finds it controversial. Contohnya aja gaji, deh. Kalo si istri lebih mapan dari lakinya (pendapatan lebih makmur), 90% yang gue tau lakinya pasti berasa terhina. Ntar kalo dia bilang ke istrinya, "Kok kamu gini-gini-gini…" (gini-gini-gini tuh maksudnya dia jelasin alesannya); yang istrinya bilang, "Oh, jadi gak suka aku kerja?" Ujung-unjungnya berantem. Terus cerai. Lha… piye toh?

Taon ini di Wimbledon ada kontroversi gede. Lumayan bikin heboh. Setelah taon lalu panitia Wimbledon gak mau ngasih hadiah uang dengan jumlah sama ke pemenang pria & wanita, taon ini mereka bikin peraturan pemenang pria n pemenang wanita jumlah prize money-nya sama. Muncullah argumen seharusnya gak boleh sama, soalnya kan yang pria maen 3 set (minimal) n yang wanita maen 2 set (minimal). Gak adil dong?

All I can say is that: Please deh! Kalo yang wanita lo suruh maen best of five sets,, mana ada yang mau maen? Itu kan capek banget. 1 set aja poin minimal-nya 6. Bahkan kalo udah final set bisa sampe banyak banget. Gak bakalan kuat. Kalopun kuat, pasti gak tahan lama. Laen sama laki-laki. Contoh: waktu Justine menang di SF US Open 2003, dia langsung dilari-in ke RS. Kecape-an n dehidrasi, karena lama banget maennya. Itu baru best of three.

5 set buat yang pria itu sama kayak 3 set buat yang wanita. Kalo gue ditanya, "Menurut lo adil gak?" gue pasti bakal jawab, "Ya adil, lah!"

"Kenapa?"

"Coz Men and Women are different. Period."

My Second Family

Posted in Uncategorized on Saturday, July 7, 2007 by mace

It is hard to see a good thing coming out of such a bad one such as a loss. But you know what they say, right? There’s always something good waiting around the corner.

Around January or February last year I found this Official Site and decided to join in. I posted how happy I was, to finally found one website where people stop criticizing Justine and actually loves her to death. And by to death I mean to death. A member of the site (J******) wrote: "My boyfriend had to splash water on my face. I just died when Justine lost the 2nd set." See?

Facing the SF lost yesterday, we were surprisingly calm about it. Most of us, that is. There are still some members who were depressed and in shock, but then they realized that they have to go on.

Everyone joined in a little analyze experiment we had there. Why she lost. What were the factors. How her expression after the match made us hold on (one said, had she cried, he couldn’t stand it. I don’t think I could, too). Why Carlos (her coach) weren’t mad (he was red hot annoyed when Justine was in the QF, when she should’ve won at 5-1), it’s like he knew it ever since the 3rd set started. The conversation never really drifter far away from the loss she suffered. We did discuss a little bit about Bartoli (a commentator nicked her Bartoli Bop, coz she was always doing that weird hoppity hop before undergo points) and VW (far more respectable than her sister. Until now). Who won Wimbledon. What cross-y and I dreamt about (USO)…

Onward to the guestbook, support messages just went pouring. "Justine, be strong." or "I’m sure you’ll win next year." or "No matter what happened, you’re still the best, Justine!" 

Looking at it, I smiled. I’d found that proud feeling I had the first time I became an oficial member. Proud to be her support. To be one of the many gazillion people who cheer her up when she’s down, and who shares her happiness as if we’re the ones who actually expirienced it.

This is what I wrote in the forum:

Hey everyone; I just wanna say thank you. From the bottom of me heart, I thank you all. Before I became an active member in the forum I was always nervous whenever she played. Devastated (and I mean real depressed, wouldn’t want to do anything but lay in bed, devastaded) when she lose, and I’d long to find people that I can actually talk to about Justine. Not exactly a tennis country here in Indo. It’s all about football or badminton here.

You guys have really taught me a lot. We take on Justine as our role model and our idol, win or lose, and that’s very special for me. Thanks for helping me move on; calmly and quietly… big hugs to all of you…

What I wrote wasn’t just some artistic writing. It was real. I have grown up so much with their help, in viewing the matches and articles about Justine in a more positive way. The defeat certainly was our low point. But we have good days, too. Laugh together (even though you can only express it with emoticons, it’s still fun), got excited about the shirt (waiting for that "I’m From You-Know-Who’s OS" shirt here!!!), and talked about our pets.

We are united. And I can’t feel anything but blessed, for having to know these amazing people (Justine, Carlos, and all the fans) in my life. Such an honor. And crazy as it seems, I have my second family. Everyone who’s involved in the OS.

And I Accepted It… Just Like You Taught Me

Posted in Uncategorized on Friday, July 6, 2007 by mace

Calmly and contently, I have accepted Justine’s defeat in Wimbledon.

Yes. The woman whom I’ve been praising about; who’s become the object of nearly everything that I’ve written here in this very blog; had just lost her semifinal match against Marion Bartoli. Practically unknown before. In Eastbourne, Justine blasted the heck out of her in a very one sided 2 set match. Today looked as if that was about to happen again. Then Bartoli made a superb comeback, and won the match.

I lashed out somewhere in 0-2 or 0-3. I knew the tears were coming, and the emotions were just too much to handle. I threw my glasses to the sofa, and cried. I just knew right then and there, "It’s gone."

And then, I felt calm. Like… glad that I had let out all my emotions. I honestly didn’t know what came over me. Like a… a higher power or something. I’d love to think that it’s from Justine (heh?) or from God. I’m pretty sure it was from God. He is busier, for sure, but there’s just no way Justine would tell me to let it go. She wasn’t about to let go, either. Not without a fight.

I just posted a message in the forum, and found out that there are quite a number of people who feels the way I’m feeling now. This is like the weirdest thing yet. Normally when someone you adore lost, you’d curse the opponent, or blame that, or do this… All of us who’s actively involved in the forum accepted the defeat simply because it wasn’t her day.

Believe it or not, there’s such a thing as good hair day and bad hair day in tennis. Good hair day is when everything you touch turns to gold. Mishits turned to winners. Your opponent’s the one who’s making all sorts of mistakes.

Today, Marion had a good hair day, and Justine had a bad one. I think somewhere in my calmness and contentment on accepting this, I know FOR SURE that she’s going to move on. She stated it very clearly before Wimbledon began.

"It would be a dream of mine to win Wimbledon. But if I don’t, it’s not going to be the end of the world for me."

Yes, Justine… It wouldn’t be the end. And I accepted it, just the way I know you would accepted the defeat. And you know why? Because you taught me how…

Her family’s there. She has her brother (Thomas) there for her. And she has Carlos. And Elke. And Manuel. And Mateo. And us, the fans. Even though she lost, she still has everything she needs. And with that last sentence I wrote, I had found the reason why it’s been such an easy thing to let go.

Justine,,, no matter what happened today; or tomorrow; or next month; or next year,,, you’ll still have everything you need. And we, your fans, are just plain proud to be a small part of it.

You’re our heroine. Our Queen. Our role model. Our Justine.

To Justine,

With kisses from all of us at the Official Site

Superstition: Just Coincidence?

Posted in Uncategorized on Friday, July 6, 2007 by mace

Almost 19 years I’ve lived my life; and never have I been superstitious. Not until recently, that is.

I was always the careless person. The one who always say, "If you want it, then do it. Ask God for His blessing, and just go for it. There are no external factors in achieveing your goals, because it’s YOU who’s doing it, and not someone else. You have all the power in the world to do what you want. To get what you want."

But lately, something slightly changed.

All of them who knows me; they understand perfectly well how devastated I am if Justine lost *knock on woods 3 times*. While I understand that it was her lost, and clearly has got nothing to do with me (since I’m way… over here, sitting and watching her play, while she’s the one who’s doing it), sometimes I couldn’t help but think that part of her lost has got something to do with me. Yes, it’s crazy to think about that. But apparently I’m not the only one. But, let me just tell you how it began.

Out of anxiety attack I had at the 1st round of Roland Garros (where Justine lead 5-0 in the first set; and somehow her opponent got level and 5-5), I put on some Christian songs while I prayed, "Please God let her win. Please, please let her win. Give her her focus back, God. Please…" Somewhere between my prayers, it actually came true! Afterwards I opened my eyes, and not long after that, she closed the first set 7-5. I exhaled out of relief. All the other fans who were online had a mild heart attack. Me included. Throughout the match I kept the songs going. And she won.

2nd round now; and I did it again. And this time she won comfortably. 3rd round. Did the same thing. Won. 4th. Same. Won again. It was then that I thought, "Is this just a coincidence? Or…?" But I couldn’t finish the "or…" part. Coz I have no idea. Immidiately I shook off the thought that there was a kind of mystical power behind it. Cause there’s just no way, right? Surely enough, without the songs playing as I watched the livescores, she got through and got her hattrick. Then I say to myself that it was just a coincidence. Pure coincidence. I didn’t play the songs from the QF to the final, and she still won. So it was a coincidence.

There is a but.

Everytime now; everytime I want to see her match (whether actually see people play tennis or just watch the scores), I can’t help but think about the Should-I-dos… Should I put on the same shirt I did yesterday? And the same pants? Should I have a big glass of ice water next to me while I watch? Should I play the songs again? Should I tie my hair? Should I open this site?

Here’a little something. At Eastbourne (madly pissed at Eurosport coz they delayed the match :( *@#%&^%!!@$*&$) Justine almost lost. Immidiately I put on the songs, and chose one called ‘Glory’ (well, just because of the title, you know?). She lost the 2nd set. I put the songs on again. 3rd set, something amazing happened. At 3-5; I thought, there goes the title. Somehow she leveled to 5-5. 6-5. 6-6; tiebreak. The tiebreak went by quickly enough. 1-0. 2-0. 3-0. Couldn’t remember the actual scores. But in the end she won it. I jumped happily. There’s a little part in my heart that was glad for the fact that I put on the songs. She won.

A couple of days ago (hours before I wrote my last blog) while I was watching the Wimbley QF… everytime I get a sip of water, Justine lost the game. Inside of me, something said, "Just don’t drink water until she’d won the match for sure. Just don’t do it. Coz everytime you do it she lost the game. Don’t drink.Wait. Wait until she won." I held my thirst of water as my mouth dried quickly. When she won, after some dramatic clench of fist of my part, I finally felt like I could take a sip of water I desperately needed.

I’m not the only one who’s like this when it comes to Justine. She herself has told people that she used to be quite superstitious. But she doesn’t believe in it anymore. Whereas us, the fans (the fanatical ones), are drawn into it somehow. One would just leave the forum during her match, because the last time she was there, Justine lost. One wouldn’t take a shower and get out of his lucky clothes (hey, anything for the loved ones, right?). Me, I go for anything that I did, that made her lose the games. Or the set. Like that insane thing about not taking a sip of water…

So why does it works? Why is it that everytime I (or we, for that matter) do something that I know is compeletely irrelevant, it just made me think that maybe there is a thing called superstition. And although the definiton is irrational beliefs,,, why does it works? ALL the time?

Man… Have I LOST My Respect for You, **…

Posted in Uncategorized on Wednesday, July 4, 2007 by mace

Fresh off Justine’s win in Wimbledon’s QF (that’s Quarter Final); I immediately decided to write this down. I have to let it all out. As it is pure, solid happiness; from my heart directly to her and to all Mademoiselle Henin’s fans out there who witnessed the match. I’ll tell you what I think it is: Exhilarating. Specially after she won the match :D

Running from upstairs where my dad set up the computer; I rushed to the TV room as fast as I could once Greenout told me the match was about to start. After some unwanted delays from my Mom (who was watching Tukul, mind you), I finally got the remote. I think my mom did it because she didn’t want to see me nag. Please. Once is enough.

What I saw? Cih! If they have an emoticon that can spit out of disgust; I’d use it right now. And, please, with all due respect (NOT!) let me introduce you to the ever talented, oh-I-tore-my-calf-muscle-but-still-keep-going, Oscar winner for Best Overacting Athlete; Miss **. Saying her name makes me sick. Even her initials make me sick.

There she was, standing across from Justine, wearing every bandage and tapes on her calf and her left hand, looking like a veteran who got shot by the opposition head to toe, but still managed to play tennis. Fine with me. Hey, I always admire a fighter. It takes a lot. So; ball was served. Rally began before I knew it. Justine went forward, tried to return the shot ball ** gave her. She hit is upward. And then… BAM! Out of nowhere; off came this monstrous return from **. Where? Right to her face! To Justine’s face!!! When she got an empty left court AND right court. She could’ve hit it anywhere. But, no. Decided to hit it to someone’s face. Curses began to run from my mouth.

Whether she was sending a message to Juju,,, or whether it was an impulse,,, I couldn’t care less. For me, it’s not about gamesmanship. What she did was… *I get so worked up over this thing I can’t even say the word* disgusting. In a way. I mean, what the ****? That’s not cool. That’s sick. To have your father told the press that ** had her calf muscle (or whatever) torn. And they did an MRI, and it was true. There was a tore. Can someone please explain to me how is it that someone who’s suffering a tore 2 days ago, can move about as if she was perfectly fine? If she really had a torn; she’s not allowed to run AT ALL. Even when walking she must do it really carefully.

OK, so her thumb was hurting. I’ll give that. Was it a big deal? Hey; you shook off a severe injury (which I can tell you, if you saw her muscle, it looked like she was about to hatch a dinosaur egg from her calf. Literally. Seriously, they were huge!) 2 days ago, right? AND you smashed the ball to your opponent’s face, right? Why not show the "magic touch" once again? Shake that thumb injury off!

I wouldn’t be surprised if she came out to the press conference, and then tells the press that she lost because her thumb was injured. Not because her opponent outdo her today. If she said something else… then good. At least she realized that she was outclassed. In every way possible.

I’m not just writing this because I’m a fan of Justine (well, about the face part; it was all about Juju). I’m writing this out of disappointment. Why someone, who’s been world number one, even bothered to spread a total BS to the media? Do you think everyone’s stupid? Do you think that if you had told them you were badly injured, they would say something link, "Oh. I don’t feel like practising all that much now. Besides, my opponent said on the paper that she’s injured. I’ll get away easy."

Please! This game is all about depth. All about approach. Execution. Not based on some BS rumors about players. If you do trust everything the papers say, eventually you’re gonna kill yourself. Because at times like these; you really can’t tell which one’s fake and which one’s real. How do you know it? Find out by yourself. Figure it out. Don’t trust anything, until you’ve done it. That’s the best way.

Pity. I’m happy and excited that Justine had won the QF. I think it was very well deserved. As for **? Man… have I lost my respect to you, Miss…